Truly, there is no better place to spend Christmas then in Haiti. You really experience what I believe Christmas is meant to be. In Cap-Haitien, it is a CELEBRATION of life and family. We put up lights and a small Christmas tree (hung up by a napkin string) on our porch so all the neighbors could enjoy. Dieceul, my staff member, splurged and bought a tiny Santa ornament (our only one – but that doesn’t matter) on the tree, and was SO excited about it! He showed everyone.

Sadly during this time, those who have no one to turn to, turn to drugs. As the holiday came closer, more and more of my kids were getting high, including one who had passed out around 8pm outside of a restaurant in town.  I was concerned that he was unconscious, given how his head and body were contorted up against a plaster wall. I dealt with multiple kids showing up at my house at various hours, high out of their minds and talking crazy. I guess I have to wonder what I would do in their situation? Maybe I would try to mentally escape as well. While it is important that they are aware that I am aware they are on drugs, it still melts my heart. It’s difficult, because I KNOW them and I know they are worth so much more. I hope that one day they will know this as well. In the meantime, it is critical that I not judge them, but focus on loving them, and that I concern myself with their well being. SOMEBODY CARES ABOUT YOU! Don’t give up.

I was SO disappointed to see one of my running leaders (Extra Pierre) so high he could barely walk. I even questioned that maybe he had a terrible eye infection. He was literally cross-eyed. Although he tried to laugh it off – we both knew what the situation was. I really wanted to cry, so frustrated. You think you are making strides forward, and just as quickly, you fall further back. When I think about it though – doesn’t that happen to all of us? We are incredibly fortunate that God doesn’t hold us up to the standards humans do. I make mistakes…daily. Would it make sense for me to give up on this guy? Would God give up on me? So, the next day happens. We address the issue. And, there are repercussions. BUT – I STILL LOVE HIM. I always will, and giving up is not an option, because that is his story. Everyone just giving up on him. This is when you see Jesus at work.

Personally, the frustration can get to such a point that I literally have to HIDE from the kids, and from everyone. At times, I do lose my temper. For example – there is a very popular song out in Haiti right now that is completely inappropriate and offensive to females. My street kids know that if I hear them singing it, I won’t work with them.  I had a particularly overwhelming day, and my youngest group decided to sing this in unison. This was after I literally had to tackle one of them, to stop him from throwing rocks at another one of my little guys (6-9 year old age range). Of course, once you get a hold of them they cry hysterically because the other hurt his feelings. What they need is a mom, right there, right now. You calm that one down, everything settles, and then within minutes, you have another incident. Many people who watch this think I’m crazy for trying to help. I’ve been asked “why don’t you try to help kids worth helping?” HELLO – Seriously?! I cried that night because I lost my temper a bit and told one kid I refused to work with him anymore. I was so embarrassed at myself for giving up on this child, and letting him see that. Which brings me back to my point…imagine if God gave up on us?  THANK YOU GOD – that we get another day. A brand new day.

“I have one child, Daniel, that told the Sensei (Judo instructor) that no matter what “Linsey is always there for us. You don’t understand – she will come find us if we need a doctor. She always finds us. She knows the places we go. She likes hanging out with us. When I look at her, I question the choices I make and it makes me want to help others too.” Of course, we all know this is not me… This is not us, this is God working through us.”

It was around this time that my landlord from Miami showed up. He is a sweetheart, but I knew deep down why he wanted to meet with me. There were complaints from the neighbors about the number of kids coming around my apartment, wreaking havoc, in an otherwise calm and peaceful neighborhood. I more than understood. I calmly explained what the Streethearts program is trying to do, showed photos and files, etc. Luckily for me, he has a heart for those less fortunate as well. He had A LOT of nice things to say, regarding MY relationship with my neighbors, but that my safety was a concern. “What if they turn on you?” Well…

If they do… I tried. That’s all I can say. I can also say that I have six+ kids literally  “working” for me, two in interviews,  about ten kids helping me to keep the others in line. None of them have EVER missed a day of work or let me down. This came about because some of my kids aren’t into “sports”. So… they came to me with a “negotiation”. “Linsey – what if we do errands or chores (and they had specific ideas) could we earn stuff that way? We don’t want money – but if we do a good job, could we get shoes? T-shirts? Etc.?” Of course, the stipulation is that they show up on time, do a good job, etc. They have NEVER stolen from me – I give them more than enough money (on purpose) if they need to buy something, and I always get change. I have one child, Daniel, that told the Sensei (Judo instructor) that no matter what “Linsey is always there for us. You don’t understand – she will come find us if we need a doctor. She always finds us. She knows the places we go. She likes hanging out with us. When I look at her, I question the choices I make and it makes me want to help others too.” Of course, we all know this is not me. I reinforce this regularly, and so does my staff. This is not us, this is God working through us. You can do this too!

People think I’m crazy for taking these kids shoe shopping. “Have a staff member do that – you have more important things to do.” I do?! Like what? Do you know how fun it is for me to spend one on one time with these kids – especially when THEY are buying a new pair of sneakers?  They are SO nervous (I do have a male staff member go with them and help negotiate – which they LOVE, because they feel “grown up”) and SO excited. I usually hide around the corner, so they won’t get hustled because they are with a “blan”.

The face. When you see the face coming around that corner with their sneakers…of course, you have to make a BIG deal! That part of the job is why I LOVE my life. To see that, and see how proud they are that they EARNED it.

You can imagine my pride, when the kids showed up for their Christmas party! You wouldn’t even recognize these kids. They took their time to look their absolute best! We rented out a restaurant, and had local businesses donate drinks, food, etc. Each child received a stocking. We even played games (ex: who can fit the most marshmallows in their mouth?) and we danced it up on the dance floor! Still – the best part for me was watching them all show up in the very best clothes they could find (some even had belts – even if they were two sizes too big) and they looked so handsome.

The Sunday following, I had a little guy, Evans (known as Chay-Beck because he has a messed up tooth) sitting on my door step. He is a VERY passive kid with a huge heart. He gets very upset if some of the kids are a little aggressive with me, and is incredibly sensitive. Cries at the drop of a dime. Both of his parents are dead – he’s 7 years old. We decided this because he has no clue how old he is. I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk on the boulevard. (A lot of these kids tend to hang around, honestly, due to boredom). He said yes, so we went walking and started talking about the problem with all the trash on the beach. During this conversation, a little girl popped up who happened to be playing in the trash –  adorable and barely dressed. She was trying to help her mom find plastic, but ended up getting distracted by playing with the trash instead. We all started playing a game to see who could throw pebbles the furthest. She was very spunky and I was in love with her immediately. She was wearing sandals with no bottoms and it was then I remembered that I had a random pair of small sandals at my apt, from a recent donation drop. I was so in love with Jesus – because I KNEW they would be her size. I told her to wait there and Evans and I would be right back.

“Have you ever felt like your heart is so full it will burst? And it started with a walk…”

On our way back, Evans and I found a homeless man passed out on the sidewalk. Evans told me that they guy was drunk. Fine by me. So, I woke him up and asked him why he was sleeping in the middle of the sidewalk. He had no clue where he was or what was going on. Evans decided that we should help him too. So, I told him that he was the boss and whatever he wanted to do – we would do. We got the shoes, and headed back to the little girl. When she saw us she literally came running, kicked off her half missing shoes – in the street! –  and LOVED her $5 plain brown sandals. I then met with her mom (in a trash dump nearby) and we just talked over some Tampico’s (Haitian juice). Her mother never asked me for a dime.

Evans then reminded me that we needed to go back and visit the drunk guy. I gave Evans money to purchase a heaping plate of rice, beans and goat and we went and sat with our new friend. Evans did all the handouts, and I thought the man was going to cry. He was so hungry. Mind you, Evans has one of the worst cases of scabies I’ve ever seen. He weighs about 60 pounds and hadn’t eaten in awhile. NEVER ONCE did he ask for food. We got him treated at MedPlus (which is the day we decided his birthday for medical records), and then it was his lunch time. I took him, for his very first time, to a popular Haitian restaurant off ‘A’ Street. CHICKEN! It cost a little under $3 US. Now that is a great Sunday! Could you ask for a better day? Have you ever felt like your heart is so full it will burst? And it started with a walk…

For those that doubt my “mischievous, trouble-making, not worth the help,” kids…

Right before I left, I went for a final run on the Blvd. One of my older boys wanted to keep on going, and asked if he could run with me to my house. He promised he wouldn’t stop. (My staff had a serious talk with the kids so they would stop hanging out at my apt…”Miss Linsey is going to get evicted!” so they know now they can’t hang out). Reluctantly, I said okay. As we approached my house, I asked him if he wanted some water – we ran A LOT! – and he said yes. So, I gave him my iPod to listen to, while I went in to get the water. Of course, I got distracted – Eek! Dirty dishes, laundry, etc. and came out 15 minutes later. He was NO WHERE to be found. Well…I thought, here’s my lesson. It was bound to happen. He stole my iPod. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. BUT, I’m also well aware that I run these risks. Myself and two staff members passed by the boulevard in hopes of seeing him. We told the other street kids. THEY FREAKED OUT! They were not happy to say the least – nor were my staff. Even though – yes, it was my fault. We ran our errands, and passed by the boulevard again – just in case. The kids were sure he would never show. He and the iPod were long gone. An hour later I showed up at my place, and guess who was sitting on my doorstep?! With my iPod.

Apparently, I took too long so he walked around the corner to get a bag water and when he came back I had left, so he sat and waited for me. I have never hugged someone so hard in my life. Then…it hit me. “OMG – Romareo, I told all the kids you stole my iPod!” He looked like someone punched him dead in the gut. “Linsey – YOU HAVE to go tell them! RIGHT NOW!” We sent out staff members, with Romareo, to go EVERYWHERE and make sure we set the record straight.

I was so impressed with this kids honor; I completely disregarded the reality of the situation. This brought me to my knees. While I LOVE these kids – I forgot who I was dealing with. He could have been killed. Seriously.

It’s a beautiful story – but a bone chilling one as well. Who knows what could have happened if we didn’t spend the evening setting the record straight.

Lesson learned and an embarrassing & dangerous one at that. When he said “Linsey – how could you think I would do that to you? You give us so much…I would never steal.” Literally, I felt TERRIBLE. It’s one thing to hear this in a blog, it’s another thing to see this in your child’s eyes. Thank you God, that I saw him with the usual crew the next morning. As a “misfit mother” you do think in that moment…”what did I do? Will he forgive me?” Romareo is more like Jesus than most of us. It’s funny because WE think WE are helping these kids…I don’t feel like that. They teach me so much more then I could ever teach them.

Meanwhile…

The morning I almost got evicted for running a safe house out of my apartment, a house on the boulevard (dead middle of the area where they usually beg for money) was up for lease…and two days later an anonymous donor donated $10k for the rent!

The hard days of tears are so worth the MIRACLOUS days (also with tears!). Please keep us in your prayers – we are going through the contracts now. Merry Christmas – I hope we get our house!  Stay tuned…

Luckiest. Ever.